[Third kind act]
I was standing outside the Raffles City traffic light when the flashing green man turns red.
I stood there staring blanking into space when suddenly it started to drizzle. I raise out my palms while acting oblivious to the surrounding pedestrains who skelter to the nearest shelter.
Suddenly, I felt someone's presence next to me. With an umbrella above my head, this lady smiled and pointed into the direction that she could shelter me to.
I was thankful.
This was the third kind act that I experience from a total stranger within a week.
I ponder to myself if I would do the same if I were in her shoes.
So ashame of myself.
GET LOST FOR NOW.
11:53 AM
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Sunday, September 14, 2008
[my mid-life crisis?]
I breaking news hit me hard on Friday afternoon. I was so taken aback by it that i couldn't concentrate on my work for the rest of the day. It was the serious problem that my company is facing - financial crisis. And because of that, 3 of my colleagues are being retrenched and 2 others voluntarily retire. It's the second quarter now that my department is retrenching staff to cut cost. This is really a major blow to me as I am quite close to two of these colleagues. I really regretted that earlier in the day I didn't really talk to them eventhough I had the chance too, I am always immersing myself in my own work or my own activities that I totally forgot that I should pause awhile to communicate with others....sigh....
It's too late now... And I myself may face the probably of being retrenched next year. WTH. Like I am facing some mid-life crisis....*ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* I feel like a pig in the sty waiting to be slaughtered...Rather than waiting to be slaughtered I guess I will prepared myself if such circumtances were to occur.
* super demoralised now. I hate working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
My boss told me that no one is indispensable. I disagree. One can be indispensable, if we make it to be.
qoute by Upton Sinclair: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."
GET LOST FOR NOW.
10:29 AM
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[Bye bye]
This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters,
brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause
we will never say bye
As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me alive
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown full things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face
[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye
(Bye Bye [ 3x ] ) Bye bye
And you never got the chance to
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/LueX ]
see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to
me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever
[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you (?)
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye
(bye bye bye bye bye bye [ 3x ] ) Bye bye
This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters,
brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmother
Lift your head to the sky 'cause
we will never say bye
[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye
GET LOST FOR NOW.
9:26 AM
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[I need the courage...]
I am all along very weak in expressing my stand, as even if I even get to express it, I will still eventually not get what I want. I am so weak and easily manipulated that my colleagues and bosses thinks the same way. But that's me - I am soft, I am weak, I get bullied. Even if a stranger comes up to me and give me a tight slap, I will just cry and walk off. No one will stand up for me, no one will be there for me. But I don't need anyone, I need to be independent.
I have placed myself in such a miserable state that I think I really need to wake up. Slap myself into reality and let myself know that I have done nothing wrong but yet why am I the one giving in? I have found my answer and I need to release myself so that I will not be stuck in such a situation anymore. I need to be strong, I need to stand up on my feet again.
GET LOST FOR NOW.
11:19 AM
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Tuesday, December 25, 2007
[Merry Xmas...]
Haven't been blogging for sometime and for some reason, I have lost the drive to blog. For this xmas season of jolly and joy, I have received a considerable amount of presents and also spent a cosiderable amount on presents. But yet on this special ocassion I would only wish for either one of these gifts below:
1) Time Machine
2) Memory Eraser Machine
many bad occurances fell upon me and for some reasons or another I would want to either turn back time and changed what it's destinated to happen or to just erase unwanted memoried out of my head. Sometimes it's just tough to go against your heart and do what your mind tells you to, I am always letting my emotions run over me but yet I have no control over it. Everything just fall upon me like no reason. I blame no one else but myself. My retribution, my ill-fated life and wrong doings that I have done in whatever ways.
I went pp to do my nails today and I was so touched by the manicurist as she understands how I feel. A total stranger learnt of my feelings with just a few sentences of conversation. If a stranger can actually feel for me, why can't others who are closer to me do so?
I always thought that life will be a smooth path down for me but that seems to not be the case, the path seems to be curvy, whiny with lotsa unwanted barriers. I hope I can overcome all these by myself and bring my topsy turvy life to a stop...
Wishing everyone a Merry merry Christmas...=)
GET LOST FOR NOW.
9:37 AM
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Tuesday, November 13, 2007
[let's run...]
I watched hammy run just now and as she runs, her right hind leg was lifted up leaving her weight on her other three legs. She tried running eventhough her left hind leg was not strong enough to support her. As she limped forward with all her weight on her front legs, she tried running again but yet she fell. She pushed herself harder and harder to stand on her feet each time she fell.She seems like she's telling herself: I fall but yet I can stand up myself. I fall but yet I do not give up.I fall but yet I tell myself that I will try again and again. Though physically she couldn't continue on her run, her mental ability made her move on and on....
She is really a impressive little one...
GET LOST FOR NOW.
9:17 AM
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Sunday, November 11, 2007
[gain and loss...]
It's been a pretty short weekend, short enough that time always seems to fly when you are enjoying that moment. Nevertheless, I gotta snap back to reality and face work tomorrow morning.Just a quick update of my life...I started on a new job already, yy thought that I was kinda fast in switching my jobs and people may think that I am just hopping from one to another but that's not the case! My job at company A was just a temp job that was suppose to last for one month and as said by the agent that if I happen to perform well enough, there's a high chance for conversion to perm. But my chances soon fell when I was paired to work with this girl, who coincidently sat near me during the first day of induction. My first impression of her was that she looked full of drive and when I started talking to her then I soon realised her strong interpersonal skills had won me over. She's a girl who learns fast and works fast. And being on par with a girl like her, it makes you want to work faster and complete task at a speed that you may not want to work at. I admire her work attitude and soon I find myself trying to compete with her in terms of work speed...
Perhaps because of this and her constant keeness in clearing any doubts that she may faced in her job, she won over our boss willingness to hired her within a week. I was partly happy for her and partly sad for myself when I heard that the bosses wanted to interview her but yet not me. I don't see myself standing lower than her in terms of work progress but what I gotta admit is her eagerness to work has won me all over. In additional, I soon come to realise that nothing seems to be in line for me and I don't see any future for myself there. If I can't even get a proper interview with the bosses, why should I still stay? I grabbed onto another job opportunity that came by and I think I made the right decision.
Everything else in company B wins over company A - in terms of working hours, pay wise, working environment etc...the only thing that I find myself missing which company B lacks is the fun-loving bunch of colleagues there. Life was happier with this bunch of people and I really miss them..sigh. Why can't everything be perfect?Why do I have to gain something and yet lose another? That's really sad....
Will update on my Genting trip soon! I was really glad that I am able to spend quality time with my parents, it was worth the trip there eventhough we didn't gamble...haha
Good night world!
GET LOST FOR NOW.
2:12 AM
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