[Loss for words...]
Recently upsetting events have happened....as I type I am in loss for words...I don't know how to start. The only thing I feel like doing is to scold that someone terribly, to tell you the truth, I am beginning to hate him. I never felt like this before which I am feeling so strongly now, as I continue typing, I am engulfed in anger.
Happy thoughts eventually disappear with the thought of how he treated my friend. I am so pissed!!! But friends have told me to put on a neutral stand and don't jump into conclusion. I know, it may seems like I am siding my friend but I really can't condon to his actions towards my friend.
I really don't know how can i help my friend, I have tried what I can recently. I just want to tell you....No matter what I will be there for you physically, financially and mentally...I hope that you will not be put down by the recent events. We are just a call away you know....Please be extra careful when you are back there... I hope that everything turns out fine for you. No matter what happens, you can count on us...
*promise*
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12:37 AM
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Thursday, October 27, 2005
[Future in a bleak...]
" So what do you want to do in future? What do you like?"
Question marks running all through my head.
Huh...." I don't know."
" What?!! You don't know? It's not that you don't know, I think you DON'T KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU YET."
My friend went on....
"Come on...I am sure you know what you want. You see Gren luvs editing, she wants to teach kids ballet... Eventhough I think like what's that man..but I respect her for what she wants to do. If Accounting is not for you, just drop it. Do what you want, be happy..that's the most important"
I have thought alot about what he said, I mean is not that I don't want to do what I like but it's just that I feel, in Singapore, it's not easy to do what you really like...
Deep down inside, I do have something I would love to do for the rest of my life... but it's hard...
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1:13 AM
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
[Memories that occur..]
As I look back into the past, as I try to grasp upon each and every thought that I thought of to be precious, it's so hard...It's true that memories should be kept and recorded down, maybe not everyday but at least those happy memories that occur to you. One day I might be senile and old...one day I will die but I really hope that I will carry fondful memories with me wherever I go. Maybe that's what's keeping me going. The spirit of life, the cheerful cells in my pea-size brain that will never fail to put a smile back onto my face whenever I am down.
Surprise why am I say all these because I suddenly thought of the close ones in my family. As I miss tugging onto the pants of my dad's, I miss him carrying me on his shoulders while he piggy- backed me, I miss the laughter that he always brings out from us, I miss the way he throws the cane into the bin whenever mum got angry with us, I miss the jealousy I get whenever he dotes too much on lil sis... I miss...I miss...all these seems to be fading...I hope I am wrong. As I hope, I pray. Is this wish too much?
Sometimes I do miss bickering with my sis, I miss the cat fights that we use to have. Hair pulling, slapping, beating, those childish fights that siblings always have. As you recall, you will regret doing all those stuff...all those nonsense that kids do.
But today, things have changed, my sis consults me on stuff more often. She's still rebellious but at least she listens, i no longer regards her as a mean sis who always scolds me for nothing. No matter how she bombards me with her sacarscism, I will not throw back at her but just take it all in and give out a dumb smile or fake laughter. Or the best thing I can do is keep mum about it, roll eyes and ask her to shut up. You may think that not fighting back is weak but I feel that after fighting back and all quarrels starts again; that makes me weaker...so i don't see a point in it to geting back at her.
One day while she was blogging I asked her why don't she blog about me? She replied and said she was blogging about it now. What you blog about? I asked. Luv you lo..My heart melted eventhough I laugh it off in front of her. I went back to bed and as I pull up the covers, i smiled and fell soundly asleep...
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1:42 AM
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[Jay!!!!]
Just uploaded Jay's NEW SONG!!! YE QU!!!
It's a very nice song from his new ablum, I have anticipated for his new album for so long!
It will be out in November and I will rush to the stores to buy...
The song I uploaded has alot of talking from behind, nevermind when I buy his new album then I will try uploading it again...heex..
Actually thought of blogging about my weekends and then uploading couple of pictures
BUT
Publicity of Jay's new album comes first!!!
Blog can come later....
Enjoy the song k....=)
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12:45 AM
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Thursday, October 20, 2005
[Is life boring?]
Finally I have a song in my blog, so happy, thanks to MJ who taught me how to add the song. This song is one of the main theme in the korean drama "Full House", a love story that focus on a couple daily life at home. It's a very humorous and interesting drama, highly recommended!!! heex somemore Rain acted in the drama, handsome chap...
I had this interesting conversation with this Indonesian girl at the marketing lecture, she was very nice as she shared her notes with me as I didn't bring and also went through with me what was taught earlier. (as usual I was late!) The first thing I notice about her is her complexion, wooohoo...so fair complexion without any spots..it was like totally flawless skin...*envy* see my skin, do how much facial a week or put how thick make-up also can't be comparable...*sobx* what to do, blame it on my laziness and poor genes...heex...
We went on chatting as marketing was so dry(as usual) and she found out that i was teaching chinese so she wanted me to teach her from basics. TEACH HER??? hmmm....but I don't think i am up to it...she wanted to learn because she thinks that it's too "embarassing" not to know how to speak chinese in Singapore. huh? Thereafter she said Singapore in kinda boring, other than Orchard Road, there isn't more places that she can spend her free time as she usually goes home after lecture to sleep or just watch tv. But how about me who has spent nearly 21 years in Singapore, isn't it worst for me? Yep life here can be very mundane and routine, work eat sleep leisure is what we do but still I feel that there are alot of things that we can do. We are so fortunate and yet we complain about how boring life is...
In my own accord, I tried compling a couple of activities we can do other than work and study.
1) watching tv! ( a fav among Singaporeans of all ages, i have found many friends who can list a whole day of tv programmes they can watch esp now when there's SCV around)
2) Exercise! ( Go into that gym, jog, swim work out those saggy butts heex..a cheap and effective way to energise your mundane life!)
3) Eat! ( Supper! my fav esp when there are really alot of great food in Spore that we can try out esp in the east area!)
4) Sports! ( soccer, captain's ball, basketball, baseball, volleyball, kayaking, diving, tennis, squash and many more!..esp fun when we can play tog with our friends....)
5) Shopping! ( there isn't only one place in Spore that we can shop, there are many heartland malls out there too!Orchard, Cityhall,Bugis...to the east there are TM,Parkway,Eastpoint etc....to the west there are IMM, Jurong pt, Causeway point, Turf City etc.... Holland village...the number of places to shop will be able to fill one whole month schedule!)
6) Learn! ( enrich yourselves in courses to upgrade yourself! learn a new lang! Read!...) In life,we can never stop learning, it's a matter of upgrading ourselves through the willingness to learn and read...widening our horizon that will never fail to bring out life to a higer level. So how can life be boring?
7) Travel! ( don't learn enough in books? Travel to a faraway land or even neighbouring countries and see how amazing are the cultures in the world, the way of life the people have is truely a great experience!) hai...for a poor student like me now, I guess i will just open up the " Google Earth programe...heex..
8) Blog! Surf Net!( like what i am doing now, to update my friends and myself about my life)
9) Organise outings! ( Ktv, Sentosa, Movies, Pool, go have fun with your friends!.....)
10) Help out with housework! ( clear up that sty of yours, help mum to clean the house, wash your own clothes, learn to cook for family...)
I am so tired already so i decide to stop at 10, but the list goes on...Singapore is not boring, life is not boring. It is how you perceive life as to be, how you put words into action by making your own life more fulfilling. Perhaps, the next thing you can do is to call up one of your closest friend to find out how he/she is doing....how about it?
Enough of my shit!!! * off for dinner* (' o ')/
GET LOST FOR NOW.
6:31 PM
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Tuesday, October 18, 2005
[Results..]
Sarah called me and told me her results....sigh...not very good(54 marks) but I feel that she has done well enough. Keep it up girl! Omg! Her mum wants me to teach her maths bacause she failed. Why me? * Jas digging out all her sec maths work* * cold sweat*....how? Sarah continue to work hard k, I will pray for you....
P.S: pity I don't have pics for the Sentosa trip...only a couple on my hp so unable to post...sadz...
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11:56 PM
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[Sentosa the Sunny Island!]
I am yearning even more for Sentosa, I didn't know that a place that I don't desire so much can bring me craving for more. On Friday when it started to rain after lecture, i called ptl up to see if she was still joining us. After she heard that Clementi was raining, her decision swayed. She decided not to come, then miraclously, the rain died down to drizzle only and the sun was coming out. Then i was like telling her, aiya the rain stop already lar..come down..have fun...she fell for my trap! haha but I really feel that more people the merrier mah....so it was right to trick her...heex...
At Sentosa, the guys wanted to play volleyball, we need to pay $5 per pax in order to use the court...I told them I didn't want to play because I think that I wouldn't be active in the games. My friends encourage me to join them to play so I readily accepted. Throughout the volleyball game I was inactive because i really don't know how to play volleyball and I always think that volleyball will only hurt my hand. In the end, Ben and Jingyou keep encouraging me to serve the ball until I really 'gain' haa...but still was kinda 'paiseh' when all of them have to wait for me to serve the ball....anyway it was fun serving the ball although I had alot of brusies on my arms, I felt that it was worth it...
Then we went for kayaking!!!! Omg, I just luv water activities, perhaps I was a sea creature in my past life. The mention of such water activities, my eyes will just lit up....I and Ben shared a kayak and so did Jingyou and ptl and Eunice and Say Seng....Jingyou and ptl was the most gui ji duo duan pair, they have evil plots in their minds where plan carefully on how to 'bully' us. haha Unknowingly of their evil plot, we row towards them and fell right into their trap. They started splashing water at us vigorously with their paddles and they still have the cheek to row away...I think they never die before ah...(joking) lol...of course we have to challenge them! Throughout we had 'water fights', each time their kayak row over to us, we will also hatch evil plots...hmph..think we good to bully...but in the end evil still truimph over us...Ben got himself all soaked in sea water...orbigd....opps...heex...=p
The guys went to play soccer thereafter and we girls stood down and watch, next it was captain ball...I fought with ptl for the ball throughout because they set the rule that only girls can score. In the midst of the game there were alot of snatching of the ball...I guess I played too rough too....after ptl left to meet des, we continued playing freesbi then I had a 'mini soccer game' with Ben. He started showing me tricks by kicking the ball up in the air with his thighs and foot. I was amazed as a girl like me will never be able to do that. i tried to get the ball back from him but any tugging,pulling or arms locking, didn't do the trick to get the ball back...he really has his way to handle that ball with his feet...In order to show my authority, i ask him to stand with his feet wide open in order for me to kick the ball through...who ask him to bully me? lol...
Yippy!!! The entire day was fun fun and fun.....Liansoon who ask you don't join us? haha They also had this new facility which was the carlift and luge ride. Two by two the couples went up, though it wasn't fantastic but the sunset view from the sea and the company I had just melts my heart...hmmm.....=)
Later was pool and 'table soccer'??? We were all hungry and tired, we ended up eating Yoshinoyo though we all had pizza cravings...i tell you that instant miso soup at Yoshinoyo tasted one of the best because I was just too hungry....P I G --> Jas
My body ached a whole two day and I even skipped lecture on Saturday due to that. I had to reccuprate in order for me to enjoy another round of fun-filled Sentosa!!!! Yeah!!!!
GET LOST FOR NOW.
11:31 PM
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[Bad Weather =(]
I hate the weather, because of it I am having this bad flu...sobsob...i will blog again tomorrow about my fruitful weekend I had... people do take care k...don't catch a flu like me due to the weather...* do keep yourself warm*.....
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11:52 PM
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Thursday, October 13, 2005
[~ melody ~]
My melody!!! I bought an ice-cream cone just for the sake of this toy but it's not the toy that I want. i want cinnamonroll leh....=( ( they don't have it at MP Mc)looks much cuter than my melody..hehex guess I am too picky ba. I can't bear to open up the wrapper...it's just too cute...
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11:18 PM
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
[Happy Anniversary dear!!!]
How can a phone call lead to a quarrel??? No one wants to answer the call and thus leading to a few of us quarreling. Is it worth it to quarrel over a phone call? We are just giving oursleves extra trouble by blaming the other party for not answering the phone. It's after all just a call....
I handed up a half-hearted written IR essay which I feel that it wasn't right, I just do for the sake of doing. What's wrong with me???!!!
On a happier note, we celebrated our anniversary today and watched "Deuce Bigalow", it was a funny show but it's kind of lame in a way... Ben surprised me by giving me a gift...it's the bag below...so nice...=) I love it! No matter what he gives, heex....
*** My new baggie!!!*** 
*** Picture that was taken last month at Clarke Quay***~ - Total Bliss - ~
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11:29 PM
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Tuesday, October 11, 2005
[Immature mind]
After reading some strangers' blog i realise that I am really immature
I feel that the way I convey my feelings on my blog is way too kiddy
I have to change!!!
It's not right to act like that for my age.
yepyep...I am determined to...
i am feeling so happy now coz I did facial, my face feel so clean and supple now!!! * all smiles*
btw, IR sux, I haven't done the essay assignment yet which I am suppose to hand in today, coz I don't understand the text, and the notes are lousy which makes things worst!!! =( ' ' ' .....sobsob....
GET LOST FOR NOW.
1:42 AM
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Wednesday, October 05, 2005
[Please define "little"...]
I cut short my 2 pages of entry and summarised it into this:
Actually I didn't intend to rewrite what wasn't saved but after much thoughts I guess I will rewrite it again. I don't have the "feel" to type so I guess it wouldn't be as good as before...sigh...nevermind...
As usual, i went for tuition again after school, Sarah was going to have her chinese compo test tomorrow. In my mind I was pondering what can I teach her in such a short notice, with so much to teach but yet so little time left.
To make things worst, I wasn't sure of the new syllabus. You guys may have remembered that in our secondary school days we have chinese compo with two sections, one would be the letter writing and the other is the compo writing. In these days, MOE has made drastic changes to the examination and Sarah has 5 SECTIONS TO COMPLETE INSTEAD OF TWO WHICH MEANS SHE HAS TO WRITE 5 SHORT COMPO! Who in the mind of exam mood wouldn't panic?
My dear Sarah. She told me she wasn't stress which I think was good as she wouldn't freak out during exam but still I was worried for her. How I wish could help her take her paper and then I wouldn't have worried so much..sigh...
Anyway, the 5 sections of the compo wasn't as easy as I thought, with this fast pace growing and improving education level, I guess the future kids will be really stress out. In order to do well in the compo you will need to memorise idioms, similies and different different expressions like the red blazing sun shines over the vast ocean covering...blablabla...chinese language really loves to exaggerate...haha then she need to know how to describe the expression on people's faces, decribe people's feelings with very difficult phrases...it's really tough...compare to what we had before...
Oh ya, I had a great dinner today coz mum was cooking...!!! Yippy!!! I went over to my mum workplace and fetch my mum, then my mum told me that she cooked very little. She name a few dishes and I was like, oh ok...not many... then she said she wanted to buy bak kut teh to add on to the dishes. Greedy me wouldn't be even against to that thought so I was thinking y not?
When I reach home I was like SHOCK can! Really, my mum cook the amount of dishes that is enough for 10 people!!! Only 3 of us eating and yet so much food???!!! Here's what I had for dinner (the food are mostly in big portions):
1.) Fried Rice
2.) Fried rice covered in egg ( my mum says this is her new 'recipe' hehex)
3.) Pork Chop
4.) Vegetables (Si Suan Cai; me and my sis fav!)
5.) Curry Chicken
6.) Seaweed Chicken
7.) More vegetables..
and not forgetting...
8.) Bak Kut Teh that we just bought...
OMG! can have a buffet dinner already lor and she say she cook very "little"...lol...how can i ever be slim?? *slaps head* nah...don't think it will ever happen....
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11:33 PM
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[Damn...]
Once again, I feel like cursing..I typed two full page of entry and it wasn't saved by blogger....WT???? =(
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10:16 PM
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*** My new baggie!!!*** 